Sometimes Half-Assed Is Good Enough

I thought I would find my Apple Watch super motivating for my activity. I do really enjoy having one device on my wrist that tracks both my heart rate and my steps. But in the few days since I got it, I've gotten the distinct impression that I've been half-assing my workouts. And you know what? It's OK. This morning I did 35 minutes of a 70-minute kickboxing DVD. Then I shut it off, fixed breakfast, and got on with my day. It was good enough. This year, I'm scheduling five early-morning workouts every week, of about 35-45 minutes each. I'm usually doing one HIIT, one steady-state cardio, two strength training, and maybe one metabolic conditioning workout. This is down from six 60-minute workouts I did a few years ago when I was trying to maintain 15 pounds lighter. 

At this point in my life, I am dealing with the beginnings of peri-menopause and helping my daughter deal with her mental health. I am lucky if I get one good night's sleep each week. I am keeping healthy food on the table, and my daughter and I take a 30-60 minute leisure walk-and-talk almost every evening, purely for relaxation and to unwind. Nothing is forever, and this is a temporary season of life. My weight is staying pretty steady, my clothes fit, and my food is pretty automated. I am content with this right now. Even on mornings when I can barely drag myself through a workout and my heart rate is pitifully low, it is OK. I feel like as long as I am getting on my workout clothes and doing *something* for 30 minutes a day, everything will be OK.

In other news, Marlena and I had the best time at the Kacey Musgraves concert on Friday. Marlena talked the rest of the weekend about how great the concert was, and what a nice, relaxing atmosphere it was. Two nice bonuses from the concert: we discovered a new band we love, Humming House. And we had a great time visiting with the dad and daughter who sat with us. It was just lovely having such a relaxing evening out with my kiddo, and watching Marlena enjoy live music with every fiber of her being is always an experience.

Powerful Article On An Important Topic

There's Always More To Say

I read this article at work earlier this week, and found myself choking back sobs at my desk. I am so very lucky to feel that my struggles with depression have been mostly mild to what Roman describes. But the way he describes his experience and feelings? That feels familiar to me, and reminds me to be more compassionate for what my daughter is experiencing now. 

It's amazing to me how you never know what people are dealing with - we can be pretty good at putting up false fronts. I discovered Roman's fitness blog a few years ago, and something about his writing always touched me. I actually follow his blog, and never fail to be interested in his Facebooks posts. At first glance, my middle-aged suburban mom life has nothing in common with this witty young bro, and my fitness routine is miles away from being as hardcore as his. So I have always had a hard time explaining the appeal of his writing to my friends and family. But after reading this post, I *get* the connection I feel to him. To Roman and all my friends and family who share these struggles, I do know that feeling of being in the hole of depression, and know how much effort it takes to simply reach out a hand for help. But know that if you are my people, I will always be here to grab hold of your hand, hard, and I won't let go.

My New Preciouusssssss

Ha, that video cracks me up every time I think of it!

But seriously, since 2009 I have wanted a fitness tracker that will show me heart-rate, calories burned, overall daily activity, AND track my steps. I have loved my Polar heart-rate monitors, but never wanted to invest in a separate pedometer. 

So when I found out Apple was coming out with a watch that did all that *and more,* I was sold before I even laid eyes on it. I am an incurable Apple junkie, and have loved every single Apple piece of hardware I've bought. I've been saving my Christmas and birthday money in anticipation, so when I didn't hear anything terrible about the Apple Watch, and my WW buddy Lindsay loved hers, I finally pulled the trigger and ordered one. 

So far, so good! True to my life, my daughter "helped" me set it up out of the box, then wore it all evening. At this point, I know about 1% of what all it will do, so I'll have to convince Marlena to give me tutorials on all its features. 

(calling Dad on the "spy phone")

(my step workout this morning) 

I am really looking forward to playing with it more. I anticipate a completely dead battery by this evening!

Love, Actually

 (Oh my goodness, doesn't this scene just kill you?!)

The mom of a teen girl told me yesterday, "Can you imagine? 15 years old and thinks she's in love? *laughs*" I smiled politely, but yes, I can imagine. I may have forgotten most details about being a teenager, but man, do I ever remember the intense crushes I had. It was certainly different than the "tested for-better-for-worse, married with kids and a 30-year mortgage" kind of love. But as the parent of a new teen, I see through adult eyes that the positive side of teen love has such sweetness, trust, and purity. It makes my heart hurt because I see through jaded 44-year-old eyes that once someone has been hurt by a first love, they'll never have that exact experience again. 

Who are we as parents to belittle our children's emotional experiences? Why should I have any doubt that my child, who has always been securely attached and sweetly loving to our family, shouldn't also love her friends and boyfriend? After all, I've taught my child that loving new people doesn't mean we lose the love we feel for those already familiar to us - our hearts expand endlessly to make room for all those we love. I try to carefully vet the people we let in our family circle, but I believe that love and human connection are essential to her well-being. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic - after all, one of my all-time favorite movies is Love, Actually, and I'm an optimist who loves romances. But I do truly believe in all kinds of love: parents, grandparents, extended family, friends, and I do believe that the love teens feel is real. 

(With the caveat that I believe in supervision, responsibility, and am teaching personal respect and boundaries. I'm not endorsing Romeo & Juliet behavior, and have no desire to be a grandma for many years! And this post is not meant to violate anyone's privacy - it's merely my  reaction to a comment that was probably well-meant.)

(Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell was the best book I've read all summer. I highly recommend it!)