Marking The Good Times

I started a post yesterday when I was having an extremely down-feeling day. Just one of those days where nothing particular had happened, yet my anxious brain was telling me I was doing everything wrong. My daughter is back in school and doing well, but I had this leftover feeling of dread from one final summer meltdown last weekend.

When I got home, my family was in a great mood and it turned my mood around. My daughter and I took a very long walk to a local park, and we had the best talk. My goal on our walk-and-talks is always to listen to what's on her mind, and ask good questions to elicit her feelings about what's going on with her. I can't even express my relief and happiness that she's on an upswing right now. While we were at the park, it started drizzling, which she absolutely loves. Luckily we didn't get soaked!

The sun started setting as we crossed the bridge on the way home, so we stopped and talked about all the colors of the sunset for a few minutes. Then I turned eastward, and noticed there was a complete rainbow in the sky! It was so beautiful, and lasted all the way until dark. We all went to bed early, and I had my fourth good night of sleep since May.

I am normally quite an optimistic person and able to trust there's good in most situations. My current anxiety and depression are temporary, and I will get through them. I remembered something my wise daughter said recently about "marking the good times," so she has them  stored to remember when she's having a sad day. I'm going to do the same, and last night will definitely be one of the good times I mark.

Last Day of Summer

Today is the last weekday before Marlena returns to school on Monday. It has been the longest summer of my life, so I'm ready for school! I don't guess the kids are ever ready, but I know the routine will do a world of good for Marlena and her friends.

The end of the summer has been all about music. After an illness and injury during the spring musical, Marlena was ready for a break from singing for a while. She's done some really cool arts camps this summer: oil painting, film, a brief stint at pottery, an amazing dance intensive, as well as some dance classes. But after a lot of deliberation, she signed up for an a cappella camp the past two weeks, and she says it was probably the best extra-curricular she's ever done. She sang a solo in "Over The Rainbow," and helped organize a quintet to sing "Run To You," a very difficult Pentatonix song, in four days. The kids were so proud to pull that off!

It has been a summer of many changes, learning about ourselves, learning to trust, learning about relationships, learning to let go a little, and most of all, learning that parenting a teen is more different from parenting an elementary-aged kid than I could have imagined.

I have also learned that even if I loosen the choke hold on my diet a little bit, I won't suddenly balloon back to 300 pounds. It hasn't been that difficult to maintain my weight this summer, thank goodness. My gut-churning anxiety is still around, but I finally made a doctor's appointment to get it checked out. Probably the best part of my summer has been taking evening walks with Marlena. I'm sure the extra activity has helped offset my more moderate diet. I'm mostly grateful for the opportunity to listen to her thoughts and keep our lines of communication open.